Here’s my article in TIVA‘s September 2011 printed newsletter.  Thanks to the TIVA folks for allowing me to reprint it here on my website.

Somehow there exists the stereotypical notion that gregarious, extroverted people make for the best salespeople.

Mind you, there is nothing wrong with being gregarious or extroverted, but I would argue that success as a salesperson is determined more by another trait, that of being curious.

I am talking about a mindset where one is excited to learn new things, which includes a genuine (appropriate of course) interest about other people.

In our interactions with others, we can usually sense whether someone is pretending to be interested in what we do or not.  It’s hard to fake it.  We might call such people self-centered, pompous, egotistical, insincere or elitist . . . not good adjectives for a salesperson.

Conversely, when someone shows genuine interest in what we do, we can pick up on that as well.  And we tend to think positively about such people.  We might say there are friendly, unassuming, understanding or appreciative.

We also might say that person is a good listener.

Bingo.  I think that’s one of the best compliments anyone can receive.  You can’t be genuinely curious without also being a good listener.

It’s relatively easy to show interest within our inner circle of family, friends and co-workers, but successful marketers and salespersons need to have that same level of genuine interest when meeting people they have never met before.

One of my marketing & sales “gurus,” Robert Middleton of Action Plan Marketing, has a phrase he uses when talking about sales attitude.  His mantra is, “It’s not about me, it’s about you.”

And I add to that, “Everyone, yes, everyone has an interesting story to tell.”

(And let’s be honest here. This isn’t really something new.  The essence of what Robert and I are talking about was first made popular by Dale Carnegie in his 1936 book, “How to Win Friends & Influence People.”  We’ve both just added our own modern-day experiences to that formula.)

Here’s a practical example of how I apply my “stay curious” philosophy:

Do you like to attend networking events?  When I ask this at seminars or panels, there usually are not a lot of hands that get raised.  Most people don’t like networking events because 1) they fear having to interact with a whole bunch of strangers and 2) they dread that they’ll have to “perform” and recite their elevator speech with false excitement, ad nauseum.

I approach networking events totally differently.

Instead of thinking of it as being like a dreaded fraternity or sorority rush party where one is judged, I consider such events more like going to the library and having to choose between a whole table full of new interesting titles to read.

And with that attitude, what does being gregarious or outgoing have to do with choosing an exciting book?

In fact, I posit that introverted folks may actually do better at networking events, because they might be best suited to let others do most of the talking.  The important thing is to be genuinely curious while listening.

Don’t worry, the opportunity will arise soon enough where you can talk about what you do.  And by that time in the conversation, you can probably talk about yourself in a more relaxed manner than having to spout out a canned elevator speech.  The end result is that when you hand out your card while ending the conversation, people will likely ascribe to you the positive, not negative, adjectives I mentioned above.

Call to action for this month:

Try to find a new networking group to attend.  Make it a point to meet several people you don’t know and make it a point to get them to talk about themselves first.  Ask questions so that you hear from them “their interesting story.”  After getting their card, be sure to follow-up within the next few days by email and LinkedIn.

Trust me, if you do this right, you may not have an immediate customer, but you will have one more person in your network,  Who knows, that person may eventually become a client or refer you to someone.

And it will happen because you are genuinely curious.

Next time, I’ll write about the importance of applying that same curiosity to expanding your tech knowledge.

David Ryan heads the marketing activities at Chesapeake Systems www.chesa.com, a value-added reseller and media systems solutions provider & integrator based out of Baltimore.  David began his career in media production and then gravitated to media sales and marketing a dozen years ago. He can be reached at dryan@chesa.com